In the extremely unlikely event this thing doesn't come off: I guess we're just going round Brum eating nice food and rating it.

Your trusted local guides are a mixture of Brummies* and Yam Yams**, a chap all the way from Cov, and a chap from that pie place in Leicestershire / Notts?

* The Brummies are extremely proud of their city and all it has to offer.
** The Yam-Yams hate everything about Brum, except for the fantastic bars, food, drink and people.